On One Condition
by Luna the sheikah
Summary: Repo!KinkMemePrompt. While waiting for a Shilo Wallace to come out and play, Graverobber ends up encountering a corpse that certainly isn't dead. When the GeneCops arrive, he falls into debt. Not with the Repoman but with a certain striped poltergeist...


This is in response to Anon's request of a Beetlejuice crossover with Graverobber. They also requested some Grilo and BJ x Lydia. I couldn't pass this up.  
I mix Beetlejuice's movie-verse personality with the cartoon-verse relationship with Lydia Deetz. I hope you like!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Repo! The Genetic Opera and neither do I own Beetlejuice or Lydia Deetz. Nope, not me.

**On One Condition**

---

Ah, another fine day in GeneCo Los Angeles. Beetlejuice stretched his arms out, as if to embrace the glowing logo on the horizon. It had certainly been a while. He wondered if that Leslie girl was still around, she was fun; both sexy and damn good with a scalpel.

Sighing, he floated his way out of an open grave. Ah yes, their indoor graveyards. His glowing green eyes glanced about. Nice and uninhabited, perfect to look for a gift for Lyds. Her birthday was comin' up and he had yet to figure out what to get the girl. Neitherworld objects were well and dandy but this was her "sweet" 16. A big thing in the mortal world.

"_I'd rather we call it "spooky" sixteen." Lydia murmured, frowning at her reflection in her vanity mirror._

"_Good call babes! Sweet doesn't particularly describe you anyway." The ghost with the most was floating behind her, reclining in mid air and picking his teeth free of beetle bits._

_The goth girl in question only giggled and swatted at him with her slender fingers, her dark eyes filled with mirth and a blossoming maturity that had always been there. It made his dead heart almost beat._

His musings were abruptly shattered by a low voice, singing a song he could hardly make out. Turning invisible, he peered into the night. There!

He was a tall mortal, pale with dark lined eyes. A long fur collared coat, thick black boots and suspenders. Beetlejuice floated closer, peering over the man's shoulder. Needles of all sorts of lengths and sizes were spread before him, attached to a beaten leather satchel.

"It's quick, it's clean…and it's pure." The man murmured, shoving the needle up a woman's nostril and pulling a vibrant blue liquid from it.

_Zydrate_. Beetlejuice recalled, remembering how much that Leslie girl talked about it, needed it. A drug out here, he'd almost forgotten. It seemed this guy was a "grave robber", prone to selling the illegal version on the black market.

Now, the poltergeist was all for breaking the rules but this just gave him the best opportunity to pull a prank! Rubbing his hands together in glee, he glanced about and a feral grin spread across his lips.

"It's showtime!"

---

Graverobber glanced at the moon, never one to really have a watch. He didn't have a need to harvest tonight. It was just a way to kill time. He glanced at the large tomb across the way. She hadn't arrived yet. He wondered if he should just go in, instead of waiting for her. But, she'd been more skittish lately. Not that he could blame her, that opera night…

Grunting at the heavy lid he tugged free, he glanced down at the shriveled corpse of what was once an old man. It might have just enough zydrate to keep him running for the rest of the evening. Smirking to himself, he slid the needle in and prepared to pull out a nice harvesting-Only to have the corpse's eyes snap open, a vivid color of green that he'd never seen except in a post-op Amber Sweets.

"Hey bud!" The corpse rasped, its breath causing the drug dealer's seasoned stomach to lurch just enough. He tensed and flew back with a loud curse of shock.

"What the hell?" His eyes widened as the corpse stood up and cracked its neck. This only served to remove the skull from the neck and it fell to the ground.

"Well shit." The head murmured, the eyes glowing as bright as the vials on his belt. Mumbling a few more curses, the skull began to float and shot up to lock eyes with Graverobber. Nose to nose, or nose to nose cavity anyway, the eyes gleamed with wicked mirth. Graverobber glared, unsure if this was a nightmare or a hallucination and swung his fist, knocking the skulls' jaw loose and onto the floor. The eyes quickly disappeared.

The man kicked the body, to make sure it was dead before tossing the corpse back into the tomb and closing the lid. That was too fucked up. Maybe he'd taken some Z by accident? He patted his pockets, no, no broken vials or anything. Graverobber wondered if these sleepless nights were really a big a cause of damage as he thought. Huh, maybe the kid was right.

"Graverobber?" The man in question turned abruptly, giving her that familiar grin.

"Hey kid."

"I…heard you yell before I came out, is everything-" Shilo was cut off by a cackle.

"Nice necklace you got there, how much you want for it?" The girl shrieked at the pale, moldy figure in front of her. Clad in a black and white striped suit, his grubby fingers grasping her mother's necklace.

Graverobber stepped forward, grasping at the man's shoulder only to have his fingers go through him.

"What the hell?" He cursed, staring at his fingers touched nothing. The poltergeist's head turned completely around, facing Graverobber.

"Boo."

Shilo screamed.

---

**GRAVEROBBERS SIGHTED.**

**STOP!**

**FREEZE!**

**GENECO POLICE!**

Graverobber cursed again, shoving his hand through the strange man's body and grabbing Shilo. He turned quickly and began to run, picking up his Zydrate satchel on the way.

Beetlejuice frowned at their retreating backs and quickly turned invisible. No point in having any more mortals here see him than needed. A glance to the left revealed a dilapidated red sign.

_Graverobbers executed on sight._

And if there was any indication, that Graverobber guy certainly was one. And the girl, Shilo? She was probably his squeeze.

The poltergeist cracked his knuckles; the little slip of a girl was a cutie. And had dark eyes, pale cheeks and a nice set of lips.

A lot like his Lydia.

_Lyds…_

A shot rang out, a male grunt and another cry from the girl. He saw them stumble out of the wrought iron gates. The kid glanced back in horror where he should have been, fear in her eyes. Fear for the older man beside her.

The ghost with the most frowned.

He'd been looked at with those eyes before.

Spitting a curse to the ground, he shot forward and appeared in front of them. It wasn't hard to figure out what was wrong. Graverobber had been shot in the shoulder, blood staining the dark coat he wore. Shilo was nearly beside herself with worry and both tensed in fear at his visage.

"Fuck, not you again." Graverobber ground out.

"Nice to see you too bub." He returned, grabbing the man's bloodied shoulder and then Shilo's. "You can thank me later."

And just as the GeneCo police rounded the corner, the three were gone. A few drops of blood the only sign that they had been there.

--

They reappeared in an alleyway far from the graveyard and Marni Wallace's tomb. Whatever awe they might have had at Beetlejuice's quick act of ghostly magic was lost as Graverobber hissed in pain and slid down into a seated position against the wall.

Shilo fell to her knees beside him, already ripping at her flowing gray skirt to try and staunch the bleeding. Graverobber wasn't looking at her, pinning the striped suited man with a glare.

"How'd you do that?" He asked, tensing as familiar fingers tugged at the lapels of his coat, pulling it away from him so she could see his wound. It wasn't too deep but neither she nor Graverobber had the tools to dig out the bullet. There was always her father's basement but they were nowhere near there.

"I'm the ghost with the most." The man replied, giving him a smirk, his teeth yellowed and chipped. "Consider my saving your ass my good deed for the century."

"You're bleeding so much…" Shilo murmured, tying her fabric around his shoulder and tying it into a knot.

"Thanks for stating the obvious." Graverobber returned, looking away at the frown that graced Shilo's pretty face at his snarky retort.

"Fuck, I'd forgotten how ridiculous you mortals were." Two pairs of eyes jumped up to him as he played with his beetle shaped cufflinks. "She's trying to help ya and all you do is bitch at her?"

Graverobber only glared and Shilo only shook her head with a small smile.

"I'm used to it."

Beetlejuice paused, glancing at the girl again. Funny, Lyds would say the same thing about him. Leaning against the opposite wall of the alleyway, he dug around his pockets. Pulling out a particularly fat beetle, he bit down.

Shilo gaped at him and Graverobber was in too much pain to care, instead glaring up at the cloudy evening sky.

"You ate it!"

"Sure did doll. Want some?" He pulled out a handful of brightly colored bugs, they had two heads and gleamed with a silvery coating. She stared, eyes wide. He waited for her cry of disgust and was pleasantly surprised with her digging around her own satchel to pull out a small metal tin.

"I've never seen those before…" She murmured, creeping up and standing before the poltergeist. "Would you give me one?"

"You want to keep the little guys? Like a pet?"

"No!" She huffed. "I…I collect insects." Shilo finished, looking a little sheepish now.

Both of Beetlejuice's eyebrows rose at that. Huh, wouldn't have pegged the chick for that. "Well, then I _guess_ I can part with a few." He watched as she plucked the largest one from his palm, gingerly placing it in the jar and closing it with a snap.

"I'm still bleeding back here y'know." Graverobber said, a sneer clear in his tone. Shilo turned around, already mouthing an apology before Beetlejuice cut her off.

"Oh quit your fucking bellyaching." With a snap of his fingers and a sharp green light, the wound was gone and healed. No scar left behind. The drug dealer's eyes widened, pressing his fingertips against his shoulder. No pain, no blood, nothing.

"How-"

"I _told_ you. I'm the ghost with the most. Is that so hard for your little human head to get around?" A warm hand was placed on his own and the ghost glanced down.

"Thank you." Shilo whispered, gratitude in her dark eyes.

Beetlejuice only smirked at her in return.

---

The dealer was shrugging his jacket back on when the poltergeist's next words were heard.

"Now's the matter of the payment." The guy was leering none too politely down at Shilo and Graverobber glowered, stepping up between her and the ghost.

"How about a little Z?" He plucked a vial of blue from his belt and waved it in front of 'The ghost with the most's' eyes. The ghost only chuckled.

"I'm not interested in that _or_ your little girlfriend here." Shilo squeaked at such a title and Graverobber rolled his eyes. "I want her necklace."

The dealer glanced back to see Shilo tense, her hand already grasping at the necklace at her throat.

"See, I got a girl back home that would look great in that."

"That was her mother's, don't think she'll let you have it." Graverobber dangled the vial before the ghost again. "First time's free." He spat, pissed at being indebted to some supposed dead guy.

"Why do you want to give it to her?" Shilo asked, fingertips rubbing against the familiar cameo out of habit.

"Her sixteenth birthday's comin' up. A big deal for you humans or something. Figured she deserved something nicer than a trip to the Shocking Mall."

"Shocking ma-" Graverobber questioned, only to have Shilo cut him off by stepping forward.

"Okay I'll…I'll give it to you. On one condition."

"You're giving it to him?" Graverobber asked, disbelief in his voice.

"You always tell me to live in the moment." Shilo returned, before looking at the poltergeist again. "So, what do you say?"

"I already saved asshole here, what more do you want?"

"A name." She said, looking determined.

"Huh. Well, I suppose I can part with that. The name's Beetlejuice." He made an exaggerated bow. "At your service." He winked and Shilo giggled quietly.

"Well, um..Beetle-"

"DON'T!" Shilo jumped at his sudden raising of his voice and Graverobber only raised a brow.

"Don't say your name?"

"Only Lyds can."

"Lyds?" Shilo asked.

"The girl who needs the necklace." He dug around his pockets and pulled out a photo of her. Shilo peered at it, Graverobber looking through his trusty monocle. Shilo admired her red poncho, decorated with spider webs. She had large dark eyes, full lips and a full head of dark hair.

"She's pretty." Shilo murmured.

"Yeah, Lyds is the best." Now flustered at admitting such, he continued, "Where's the necklace kid, you know my name, pay up."

Shilo nodded, unclasping the chain and placing the necklace into the man's clammy palm.

"I hope she likes it."

"Thanks kid." Beetlejuice pulled his right sleeve up and stared at an assortment of his watches, some working and not, on his arm. "Well, it's been fun. But I've got things to do, scalpel sluts to see and bugs to eat."

And with that he was gone.

---

"Kid, what the hell was that?" Graverobber asked, once it became apparent that Beetlejuice wasn't coming back.

"A ghost I think." She looked at the bug in her jar. "A nice one."

"Nice?" The dealer asked, sarcasm in his tone.

"Reminded me a little of you." She murmured, putting the jar back in her bag. Before Graverobber could reply, Shilo quickly looped her arm through his.

"Let's go. You are feeling better right?"

"Yeah." Graverobber admitted, grudgingly. "A lot better."

Humming her approval, they walked out of the alleyway and into the dim streetlight.

"I think I could go for some take out." Shilo announced and Graverobber rolled his eyes.

"Let me guess, I'm paying?"

Shilo only smiled in reply.

**End**

**---**

_Review please?_


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